Week 6 Story: Star-Crossed Lovers
My sister, Adeline, and I were born into a very wealthy family. Our father was often gone for work and when he was home, he was not always a kind man. He often made our mother cry. But, because of him, we lived very cushioned lives and wanted for nothing. We had servants and maids and nannies. Our closets were filled with clothes and shiny shoes. The playroom was always stocked full of sparkling new toys and dolls.
With this wealth came certain expectations for our family. Us girls were to always look our best and could only play with the children of other well-off families. This never bothered me much, but Addie fought it hard. She liked to play with the poor boys in town. I can't remember how many times our nanny would drag her home by the ear with Adeline's clothes and shoes ruined with mud.
As we got older, my sister got in trouble less often. But this was not because she did only as she was told. She got sneaky and clever as a fox. Often, she dressed as a boy and snuck out at night. Sometimes I'd join her, but I was always so scared that father would find out. We used to play cards with girls working in the factories. Adeline also liked to go to the pubs, but it wasn't much my taste. It was actually at a pub that she met Johnny. He was a miner with a sweet smile and gentle hand. The boy had loved Adeline since they were but children sword fighting with sticks. I know she must have been head over heels for him too.
I asked her once what her plan was for her future. She teared up a little bit, but smiled and said, "Johnny."
"Addie, you know father will never let that happen," I said gently.
Her smile wilted a bit and tear rolled down her cheek. "I know," is all she said.
So, I didn't ask her about it again. But then, one night, she started packing. I thought she'd lost her mind.
"Father will track you down if you try to run. What're you thinking?" I asked.
She sighed and sat on the bed. "I'm pregnant. And it's Johnny's. You know just as well as I that father won't let me keep it. He'll probably try to have Johnny's head too." She looked up at me and her eyes weren't sad or trapped anymore. There was a fire burning in them and she was strong.
I felt all the air suck out of my lungs. She was right. Adeline and the baby would be a disgrace to the family and his reputation. I loved my sister more than anyone else in the world, but I helped her pack with tears streaming down my face. She offered that I might come with them, but I knew that wouldn't be right. So, I hugged her tight, feeling the slight swell of her abdomen and watched her climb out of our bedroom window one last time.
While she'd been with me, Johnny had been doing a far more gruesome job. He knew our father would chase them down if he thought Addie was alive. So, he'd gone to the cemetery and dug up a poor Jane and John Doe's bones. He brought them back to his home and laid them out in his bed to look like him and Adeline. When my sister got there, they packed a few additional things and then set the little house on fire.
The next morning, I told our father that Adeline had snuck out the night before and hadn't come back. I said she might have stayed with a boy named Johnny. He was enraged and slapped me across the face, but I smiled because I knew my sister had outsmarted him. Sure enough, he found out about the burned down house and the two bodies inside. He was furious with me, but never shed a tear for Adeline. I think he was more upset that he would have to come up with a more honorable reason for Addie's death to explain to family friends.
Now, I'm the one that sneaks out at night and goes on secret little business trips to see my sister. The baby has grown up loved and happy. Addie and Johnny have made a decent little life for themselves and I try to slip them money when they can. Father wants to sign away my hand in marriage to some business partner to get him better prices. I've started slipping poison into father's morning tea. I think mother knows, but she hasn't said a word about it. I guess she's tired of him too.
Author's Note:
In the original story, a family is tricked into moving into a home which is made of wood and everything inside is coated with oil so that it might kill the family when set ablaze. They catch on to this plot and decide to leave before it's set on fire, but take in a poor family and allow them to stay there. The poor family dies in the fire and the person who set the fire find the bodies and assumes the targeted family was killed.
I didn't like that the family knew there was to be a deadly fire and let the others stay there in their place. I wanted to change the story so that the fire could be a good thing. It offers a sort of rebirth for Addie and Johnny instead of taking lives. The fire was the main concept I used from the original. All of my characters are my own.
Image Information:
Sisters, Source: Pixabay
House Fire, Source: Pixabay
Bibliography: "The House of Fire" from The Indian Heroes by C. A. Kincaid (1921)
With this wealth came certain expectations for our family. Us girls were to always look our best and could only play with the children of other well-off families. This never bothered me much, but Addie fought it hard. She liked to play with the poor boys in town. I can't remember how many times our nanny would drag her home by the ear with Adeline's clothes and shoes ruined with mud.
I asked her once what her plan was for her future. She teared up a little bit, but smiled and said, "Johnny."
"Addie, you know father will never let that happen," I said gently.
Her smile wilted a bit and tear rolled down her cheek. "I know," is all she said.
So, I didn't ask her about it again. But then, one night, she started packing. I thought she'd lost her mind.
"Father will track you down if you try to run. What're you thinking?" I asked.
She sighed and sat on the bed. "I'm pregnant. And it's Johnny's. You know just as well as I that father won't let me keep it. He'll probably try to have Johnny's head too." She looked up at me and her eyes weren't sad or trapped anymore. There was a fire burning in them and she was strong.
I felt all the air suck out of my lungs. She was right. Adeline and the baby would be a disgrace to the family and his reputation. I loved my sister more than anyone else in the world, but I helped her pack with tears streaming down my face. She offered that I might come with them, but I knew that wouldn't be right. So, I hugged her tight, feeling the slight swell of her abdomen and watched her climb out of our bedroom window one last time.
While she'd been with me, Johnny had been doing a far more gruesome job. He knew our father would chase them down if he thought Addie was alive. So, he'd gone to the cemetery and dug up a poor Jane and John Doe's bones. He brought them back to his home and laid them out in his bed to look like him and Adeline. When my sister got there, they packed a few additional things and then set the little house on fire.
The next morning, I told our father that Adeline had snuck out the night before and hadn't come back. I said she might have stayed with a boy named Johnny. He was enraged and slapped me across the face, but I smiled because I knew my sister had outsmarted him. Sure enough, he found out about the burned down house and the two bodies inside. He was furious with me, but never shed a tear for Adeline. I think he was more upset that he would have to come up with a more honorable reason for Addie's death to explain to family friends.
Now, I'm the one that sneaks out at night and goes on secret little business trips to see my sister. The baby has grown up loved and happy. Addie and Johnny have made a decent little life for themselves and I try to slip them money when they can. Father wants to sign away my hand in marriage to some business partner to get him better prices. I've started slipping poison into father's morning tea. I think mother knows, but she hasn't said a word about it. I guess she's tired of him too.
Author's Note:
In the original story, a family is tricked into moving into a home which is made of wood and everything inside is coated with oil so that it might kill the family when set ablaze. They catch on to this plot and decide to leave before it's set on fire, but take in a poor family and allow them to stay there. The poor family dies in the fire and the person who set the fire find the bodies and assumes the targeted family was killed.
I didn't like that the family knew there was to be a deadly fire and let the others stay there in their place. I wanted to change the story so that the fire could be a good thing. It offers a sort of rebirth for Addie and Johnny instead of taking lives. The fire was the main concept I used from the original. All of my characters are my own.
Image Information:
Sisters, Source: Pixabay
House Fire, Source: Pixabay
Bibliography: "The House of Fire" from The Indian Heroes by C. A. Kincaid (1921)
Hi Casey!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great alternative for what we read about! I actually chose the same material for my story this week too, as I was as bothered as you by the Pandavas letting a family burn to death to save their own skins.
Your writing is so clear! Very easy to read, and well organized. I think this is one of the best I've read so far. The character progression over time is clearly described and the final paragraph is very satisfying. This is dark, but vastly preferable in my eyes to the actual events described in the Mahabharata.
Great job!
Hey Casey!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story “Star-Crossed Lovers.” I liked how you gave your story a happier theme, unlike the original story, which was dark. I also thought it was cool how you used the fire to represent a new beginning for Addie and Johnny. Overall, I think you did a great job on your story and I can’t wait to see what you come up with next!
Hello again!
ReplyDeleteI also have a story called Star Crossed Lovers so I was really interested in reading yours! I absolutely loved how you recreated this story. It was very interesting how you changed the fire to mean a rebirth rather than just death. Also the last paragraph was great in foreshadowing what may happen to the father. The only thing I can suggest is to reread it again because I caught a few grammatical errors, but other than that it's great!