Comment Wall
Here is the link to my Portfolio Project. This post is to serve as the comment wall for that project. Thanks for reading and know that I appreciate your feedback!
(Image Information: Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana
Source: Wikimedia Commons)
Hey Casey! I really enjoyed reading your story about Mandodari. I liked how she sticks up for herself and Sita. You also showed the conflict between her duty as a wife and as a queen and even though it was a hard decision, she did what was right and let Sita go. It's too bad her son had to die but at least she saved several people. I'm curious about whether Ravana finds out that his wife let Sita go. How does he react? What if she left her husband after releasing Sita? I think it would be interesting to know more about the relationship about Mandodari and Ravana since the story makes it seems like he could care less about his wife since he cheats on her. The photo is really colorful. What sort of retreat did they organize though? Was it to hide from Ravana or like the kind where they surrender and run away?
ReplyDeleteHey Casey! Wow! That a really nice story, you wrote there of Mandodari and it was really interesting. I like where you made the whole story revolve around Mandodari and her daily life struggle to leave or love Ravana. But with the choice, she made to stick with Ravana until the end cost her own son and that was the final string that Ravana broke and made her want to betray Ravana. I wonder if you had made Mandodari betray Ravana in the middle of the story, not at the end of the story. Then the whole story would have been different she would have rescued Sita early and wouldn't have lot her son Indrajit and Rama wouldn't attack Ravana, but Ravana would go attack Rama. Then just think it would have been a really interesting story. What if you changed the part where Mandodari married Rama bother Lakshmana after leaving Ravana, how would the Ravana feel and what would he do.
ReplyDeleteHey Casey!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I think it is so cool that you are doing a portfolio project. I am doing the same thing! I feel like it gives the best opportunity to get different stories out for other classmates to see. It also gives you more chances to be creative!!
Now to your actual website. Your website design is perfect! I really like the pictures and headings through out your website. It is easy to follow and really keeps the reader engaged. Great job!
Your first story is great as well!! I like how detailed you were with the story in the beginning, it really got my attention. I wonder what would happen if you changed more of the story though. Like maybe change parts that are not as crucial to the story line? Like the part when Rama comes with an army to fight Ravana. Just a suggestion though. What if you moved the pictures to the end of the story? This might not interrupt the flow of the story.
Overall, great story and website! I am looking forward to seeing your website in the future!
Hi Casey!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I stumbled upon your portfolio. I am also doing a portfolio! I felt like my stories thus far were strong, and I wanted the chance to edit and perfect my writing. I can't wait to see how yours evolves over the semester!
I really enjoyed how you wrote from a third person perspective, but maintained a writing style in favor of Mandodari's viewpoint. I had written my stories from an "alternate view" but always in first person. Since you chose to write in a third person style, I think your stories could be strengthened by adding dialogue. The story seemed to have a dull mood at some points, and it was hard to visualize some of the plot progressions because they happened so fast. Dialogue would both liven up the mood and lengthen important parts in the plot that you may want to emphasize for the reader.
Overall, your writing is incredibly strong, and I am excited to see how your portfolio improves!
Hello Casey!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful story! I love your take on Mandodari and how she stands up to her debauched husband, Ravana. Your story transforms Mandodari into an empowering female character who is not going to put up with her husband’s bad intentions with Sita. My favorite part is how Mandodari takes action when she realizes her once beloved Ravana is up to no good.
I admire your creative writing style. The story was filled with plot and I think the images you used could be presented at the end, instead of during random part. This would make the post more cohesive and characteristic of a story.
More details about the love story between Ravana and Mandodari might make the plot even more interesting. Also, I would love to hear more about
Manododari’s feelings and emotions when Ravana was being the opposite of the man she fell in love with.
Great job on the retelling of this story though! I look forward to reading more.
Hey Casey, the first sentence immediately caught my attention. I love to read stories that have to deal with a man and a woman falling in love at a young age. You sparked up the beginning of the story by telling us Mandodari husband Ravana has a weakness for other women, reading that made me want to read more. And Ravana still standing by her husband with all his women shows she is a strong and caring individual. I really loved this story, the plot of the tale had my attention the whole time. Each paragraph urge my reading further, I wanted to know how everything was going to end. And the end of the story had a nice ending, I thought everything was going to keep going down hill once the fight started. This story could have a part II simply because of the nice flow from each paragraph.
ReplyDeleteHey there Casey, I really liked the story about Mandodari. I enjoy when people add a twist to the story where someone stands up for themselves. In my opinion, that is often not accounted for in stories even when it would make sense, so I liked that you chose to add that to the story when you retold it. I like the dialog in the middle, I feel like it changes to flow of the story just enough to make it not seem like a wall of text and bore the reader, not that the rest of the story was boring at all. All in all, a really good story you told and I really enjoyed getting to read it. I wish you good luck in the rest of your writing and look forward to getting to read more from you.
ReplyDeleteHi, Casey! I loved your story!! This retelling was so easy and enjoyable to read. Your language is very relatable. What I like most about your story is that you took a character that was not originally a huge part of the story and made her the center piece! I found Mandodari’s struggle to do the right thing, or stay true to her husband very relatable and I felt troubled for her just reading the story! I feel like that is such a common conflict—choosing between “right” and “loyalty.” And even better, she ends up doing the right thing! And ends up with a good man. Sweet ending. One thing that I think could benefit your story is some imagery! You could give a description of what the grove looks like, or what Sita was wearing while she was a prisoner. It is little descriptions like this that can make a story truly come to life and engage the reader completely. Great work!! I look forward to reading more. Jessie
ReplyDeleteHi Casey! First off, I really like how you added a brief introduction to both of your stories on the home page. This is a nice touch to let the reader know what is coming. Your story, Mandodari, is so good. I really like the focus on the wife. This really gave the reader a deeper connection with her. Another things I liked is how she saw loyalty in Sita and that is what drew her to Sita, since that is what she longed for in her husband. I also like how Mandodari is opposite of Sita. Sita was always loyal to Rama, where Mandodari was fed of up and "betrayed" her husband. I wonder want SIta would have done if the roles were reversed? The eternal flame was great and so creative. I really enjoyed this story. You did a great job with the gender swap! Great project and I look forward to reading more.
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ReplyDeleteHi Casey! I really like the layout of your project website. It happens to also be pretty much the exact same theme and look that my project website looks like as well! I really enjoyed The Eternal Flame story the most out of your project website. Out of the readings from class the story of Rama and Sita is a story that has interested me the most and one that I enjoy reading about the most. I thought it was a really interesting and great idea for you to do the whole gender swap scenario and how Rama was concerned about finding his own wife instead of his father. Also, I really like how you included pictures throughout your text. By providing pictures throughout your text it helps ease your stories along, break up the text and help me in some cases understand your stories a little bit more. I look forward to reading more from you and your project in the future! Good luck on the rest of your project!
Hey Casey! I love the layout of your website. I think your title is very concise. I think it is nice that you have a small summary of your stories on your introduction page so the readers have insight of what they are reading or they have an idea of what story they would like to read. I love how you used multiple images on your Mandodari story! I thought it was a delightful story! I did not realize that Ravana had a treasured wife. It gave me insight on Ravana more, enough to know that I don't think I could ever like his character no matter what happens. I liked how we got to know more about Mandodari. Instead of being a bystander, she becomes a hero! Although her choice to betray her husband might have been hard, I am happy you placed a happy ending with love that she deserves. I look forward to reading more of your material. Have a wonderful spring break!
ReplyDeleteHey Casey! I will start off by saying your website looks great. Everything is very simple and direct and I like that you have a description of what each story is on your home page. I like that you give Mandodari the strength and courage to stand up to her husband and do what is best for her. In the original she is extremely loyal to Ravana, almost to a fault I would say. I like that she is able to stand up to Ravana and I like that your story focused on how the women think and feel about the actions of their male counterparts. As you point out in your author's note, the Ramayana is very male dominated and focuses on them, but there is an entire side of these stories that is unexplored and you did an awesome job giving the audience insight.
ReplyDeleteHi Casey! I love the set up of your website, it is really cute! I read your story and it was a much needed feminist approach to the Ramayana. I like how Ravana's wife stood up for herself and for Sita. She realized that the man she was with did not respect her or treat her the way she deserved to be treated. You are right, the original version of the story did not focus on the women involved. Instead, the main focus was the men which is not really that fair. I'm glad that Mandodari finds someone who treats her with respect and leaves her dignity intact. Mandodari helping Sita against Ravana's orders shows that she has a heart and did not want Sita to be treated like she was. Sita was able to reunite with Rama and it is a happily ever after. Great job with your website! I can't wait to read your other stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Casey! Thank you for sharing your website with us. I'm very impressed with the intentional way you've chosen to organize and format it. That's so awesome how passionate you seem to be about presenting the plot in such a way that grabs the readers' attention and doesn't leave anything missing. I didn't have any questions in your most recent story of where it was going or how some events decided to take place. Thank you again and I look forward to reading more from you in the future! Have a great week 11!
ReplyDeleteHey there Casey! Your portfolio home page looks pretty good and clean especially your banner picture. Your banner picture of coffee, pen and blank paper just matches with the way you created your home page. I also like your small introduction and the contents on your home page because I think writing your content on the home page is really good idea I might use it. I just read your first story “Mandodari” and it was nice story and it was a new concept for me because you focused your whole story around a character you is just a background character and not a main character. I really like your ending where Mandodari saves Sita and leaves Ravana and at the end she finds a better man than Ravana and lives happily ever after. You did a good job in this retelling this story by showing the Mandodari view and make it where they lived happily ever after at the end and keep it up.
ReplyDeleteNice to meet your Casey!
ReplyDeleteI just got done reading your story "Mandodari". The way you recreated the story all while keeping the same premise of the original, that Sita was captured by Ravana and Rama came to save her, was amazing. I especially liked how you gave Sita a little more power and that you gave Mandodari a liitle more empathy for Sita. I also liked how at the beginning of your story you gave Mandodari's opinion on Ravana sleeping with other women that are not her. I also liked how you gave them a little love back story. I wonder if Rama takes Sita back in your story or perhaps create another story retelling this. I noticed your other story is also about Sita, so there could a be a little bit of a theme there, unless the ending is Sita being remarried, the last two sentences are slightly confusing, which is the only thing I would fix.
Hey Casey! First, I just want to say your site's layout is very minimalistic which makes your storybook enjoyable to follow. Great use of images, both as headers and throughout your stories, to help set your setting. I feel like I can really tell what the scenery is before even reading! In your second story, I love how you used common themes in the Ramayana such as the number 7, fire, and the testing of women’s moralities. This tied your rendition of the story in so well and kept the same overarching theme from the original stories, which I believe is the main goal of our storybooks. I also like the gender swap, it's cool to see how characters can flip flop and take on different characteristics/act differently when doing so. I always enjoy a happy ending, so this was great! Good job on your project so far and good luck in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Casey (nice name btw) lol, I just got done taking a look over your portfolio project and was really impressed with the layout of the project. I love seeing vivid picture headers that directly cooresponds to the project. Yours here is no exception to that. I also liked that while reading the story there were large vivid pictures as well. This allows for a good break in the story to let the reader really take in the story. The large picture lets the reader see every little detail of the image and gives a lot of good information that further helps give the story dimension. I think that the way your changed your stories was very empowering as well. Giving the woman a lead role and changing he story to give her more of a strong personality was great to read about! You have done a great job here and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Casey! I'm from the Mythology and Folklore class and was really excited when I found out we got to read stories from your class this week! First off, I like the sleek and simple design of your website; it looks very professional and you use great pictures that really brings the aesthetic design to life and together! When reading the story, "Mandodari," I was immediately intrigued by the way you changed the story because I think it's brave that Mandodari stands up for herself. That can be an extremely hard thing to do especially in that part of the world. I also like when stories get a happier ending because it changes the entire aspect of the story and leaves me in a better mood! I think you did a great job with this story and keep up the great work! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi again Casey! This is my second time looking at your portfolio website and everything looks so great! The first thing I noticed was the appearance of your site I really like what everything looks like. The design is really clean and goes well with all of your stories. I also really like how to make an introduction on your home page. I think that helps to get the readers' feet wet before diving into your stories. Like I have said before, I really enjoyed the gender swap in your story "Eternal Flame"! Out of your three stories "Eternal Flame" is definitely my favorite! It is nice and refreshing to read about a woman who had a powerful role in your story. Overall, I think you have done a really great job on your portfolio! I wish you all the luck for the rest of your semester! Almost done with the semester!
ReplyDeleteHello Casey!
ReplyDeleteAs I viewed your portfolio for a second time around, I noticed some wonderful additions to your project and overall, I think everything is incredibly visually appealing! I admire the way it is easy to navigate around your page and I especially like how the home page is so inviting. In your last story, The Eighth Son, I think another picture would benefit the overall theme to your project. I would also appreciate hearing more about your inspiration behind your writing in your Author's notes. Overall though, great work! I look forward to reading more!
Hey there again Casey! This is my second time writing a post on your portfolio website and I really like your website especially the design and picture on your website they really suite what kind of story you are writing. I first replied on your post was for the Mandodari story it was a really good story and interesting and now I am writing this post for story called Eternal Flame. It was a really good story that wrote. I found it really interesting that you use the idea of fire that tested the purity of Sita in Ramayana and the background of Kunti’s story from Mahabharata to give mystery to the fire girl like Karna had and from that you created a really interesting story. I like how you also add that the fire girl knew his background but in real story Karna the son of Sun God didn’t know his background. Keep it up good work.
ReplyDeleteI love the perspective of Ravana's wife! Great idea. She was not well-discussed, if I recall correctly, in our readings. I found it accurate to describe Sita as another collector's item Ravana wanted to nab up. Your writing style throughout the three stories is professional and polished. Great work. It made reading your work a breeze, and I was better able to focus on the details of the story. Your images do a great job of complimenting the narration, and really contribute to the development of a setting. The last story in your portfolio, about the pregnant woman, was intense! You do a great job of portraying what someone in her situation might feel, even if it’s a position that few people would try to imagine themselves in. Personally, being in my 7th month of pregnancy, I certainly wouldn’t want to look through those eyes! Buy you do it so well. Terrific work.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Casey!
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time around checking out your project site. It was definitely nice to read some new stories before the end of the semester. My overall impressions with the site were good. It looks very clean and it is simple to navigate. I am sure you have had a ton of feedback about it at this point in the semester. I tried to focus my thoughts on your last story, because it is probably the only one that you are currently editing. This story was very heavy and emotional. I appreciated the amount of detail you put into establishing a descriptive environment. I was surprised to see the true intentions of Chhaya. I did not begin to imagine that she was actually killing the children each time. I like that you added your own personal voice into all of this. In the end, you made the prophecy not come true. I feel like I was waiting for something bad to happen, but I was pleasantly surprised here. You are doing a great job here. Keep up the good work and finish the semester strong.
Hello Casey. I really like your project. You did a good job setting up your site. I like having the links on the homepage, as well as the themes and images you used. I thought your Mandodari story was really good and creative. This is the first story than focuses or even really mentions her. I thought it was really good to see this story told from a new perspective. Seeing her thoughts further shows Ravana's and Sita's character. You did a good job in the way you showed the actions and motivations of the characters. I also liked your use of multiple pictures, as well as multiple sources. Your Eternal Flame story was also great. I liked the simplicity of your pictures in contrast to the story. I also thought the changes you made were interesting and was a great perspective to see. Overall a really well done and creative project.
ReplyDeleteHey Casey, I seen I commented before but I am running out of people to comment on. So having to recommend of other people's stuff is annoying. But when I read through your story again I see a little bit of a difference. It might have been a remake you was needing to do. Reading through it again I noticed the bits and pieces that were added to the story to help me understand it a little better.. The story line was a good storyline and the creativity was done very well too. A lot of these characters were acting up so I could see why it might have been hard to write the story without getting confused and tied up . But overall it was a good story
ReplyDeleteHey there, Casey! I just finished looking through your website, “Tales Retold”. I am in the Indian Epics class, so there is a possibility that we have commented on one another’s posts before, but I really don’t think your website looks too familiar. It really is so crazy that we are in the last week of class and we are still meeting new people and reading new stories. I really have loved the opportunity that we have been given to learn so many things from so many different people throughout this semester. I just read your story, “The King and the Deer”, and I really enjoyed it! Stories about animals are always interesting. I think you did a great job of switching the story around some and changing the roles to fit the part. I think, especially for this class, it is important to give your writing its own spin and truly make it your own.
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