Week 2 Story: Hungry
I met Janine in a bar less than a year ago. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She had this long blonde hair that looked impossibly soft. The second I saw her I knew I had to know her. For some reason, she was just as enraptured with me. Within a few months we were married. I never thought I was the kind of person to rush into a marriage, but I felt it was right and so did she. I'd never been so in love before.
Not long after that, I started to notice things that were odd. Janine would get out of bed in the middle of the night and not come back for hours. When I asked her about it, she claimed she had forgotten to do something for work and was on her laptop in the next room so as not to disturb me. The next time it happened, I checked the whole house for her, but she was gone. I didn't question her though. I thought there must be some kind of explanation. It was like I was under her spell and she could do no wrong.
Then, there were all these missing pet posters around our neighborhood. The street lamps were covered entirely in pictures of people's dogs and cats. Even our black lab had gone missing. Sometimes he went on little explorations, but it was rare for him to not be back by the end of the day.
After this, my bank account began draining quickly. There were large purchases on my statement, but I didn't remember making any of them. I asked Janine about it, but she just smiled at me and said it must be some sort of an error with the bank. And I believed her. I spent hours on the phone going round and round with the bank.
During all of this, I never considered that my wife was lying. I thought that there were just all of these small things going wrong in my life. All of my friends knew she was behind everything, and fought hard to make me see. I ended up pretty isolated because I pushed away anyone trying to create a rift in my marriage. It wasn't until one of my closest friends reached out to me, after months of not speaking, that I was able to see what was going on. He had done a little research on Janine and found that she had had two more husbands before me. They both mysteriously went missing. Apparently, she was able to talk herself out of suspicion with the police the same way she did with me.
I decided to spend one more night in that house with her, and the next morning I would get my things and leave. As usual, she got up in the middle of the night and left. I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind kept going over the events that had happened recently. I understood that she seduced me into this marriage to take my money, but why was she sneaking out, and what happened to my dog? I figured she was cheating on me each night. And she must have used the missing pets to cover up the fact that she got rid of my dog. Maybe she put up the posters. I was still lying awake thinking when she came back, right before sunrise. I'd never been awake to see her return, so I pretended to be asleep and listened to her.
I heard her kick off her shoes and shuffle into the room. There was this odd sucking and crunching noise, so I opened my eyes just the slightest amount. She stood by the bed, staring off, with a bone sticking out of her mouth. She was absolutely entranced, gnawing on this thing. It looked a bit like a femur, but smaller... maybe from some sort of animal... like a dog. My heart skipped in my chest. She wasn't cheating every night. She was hunting. I remembered the glint in her eyes every time she saw my dog. I always assumed it was adoration. Now I realize it was something else. Hunger. It was the same way she always looked at me. It was the way she was looking at me right now. She stopped sucking on the bone, dropped it to the floor, and lunged at me.
Author's Note:
In the original story, a group of men shipwreck near a city of she-goblins. They use magic to seduce the men into marrying them. Like the men they've married in the past, they planned to kill and eat all of them. One night, a man catches his wife eating one of the previous husbands. He tells his comrades of this and a kind fairy came along to take them from the awful place.
I wanted to turn this into more of a scary story/mystery. I narrowed down the men and she-goblins to one couple so that I could focus more on the details of their marriage and the odd things that happened there. I brought the story to more modern times because I'm more comfortable writing in that setting. I also decided to leave out the random and magical rescuer. I thought it would be more creepy if the husband was all on his own and then left the story pretty open ended.
Bibliography: "The Goblin City" from The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India by W. H. D. Rouse, Web source.
Image Information:
Couple, Source: Pexels
Labrador, Source: Pexels
Not long after that, I started to notice things that were odd. Janine would get out of bed in the middle of the night and not come back for hours. When I asked her about it, she claimed she had forgotten to do something for work and was on her laptop in the next room so as not to disturb me. The next time it happened, I checked the whole house for her, but she was gone. I didn't question her though. I thought there must be some kind of explanation. It was like I was under her spell and she could do no wrong.
Then, there were all these missing pet posters around our neighborhood. The street lamps were covered entirely in pictures of people's dogs and cats. Even our black lab had gone missing. Sometimes he went on little explorations, but it was rare for him to not be back by the end of the day.
After this, my bank account began draining quickly. There were large purchases on my statement, but I didn't remember making any of them. I asked Janine about it, but she just smiled at me and said it must be some sort of an error with the bank. And I believed her. I spent hours on the phone going round and round with the bank.
During all of this, I never considered that my wife was lying. I thought that there were just all of these small things going wrong in my life. All of my friends knew she was behind everything, and fought hard to make me see. I ended up pretty isolated because I pushed away anyone trying to create a rift in my marriage. It wasn't until one of my closest friends reached out to me, after months of not speaking, that I was able to see what was going on. He had done a little research on Janine and found that she had had two more husbands before me. They both mysteriously went missing. Apparently, she was able to talk herself out of suspicion with the police the same way she did with me.
I decided to spend one more night in that house with her, and the next morning I would get my things and leave. As usual, she got up in the middle of the night and left. I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind kept going over the events that had happened recently. I understood that she seduced me into this marriage to take my money, but why was she sneaking out, and what happened to my dog? I figured she was cheating on me each night. And she must have used the missing pets to cover up the fact that she got rid of my dog. Maybe she put up the posters. I was still lying awake thinking when she came back, right before sunrise. I'd never been awake to see her return, so I pretended to be asleep and listened to her.
I heard her kick off her shoes and shuffle into the room. There was this odd sucking and crunching noise, so I opened my eyes just the slightest amount. She stood by the bed, staring off, with a bone sticking out of her mouth. She was absolutely entranced, gnawing on this thing. It looked a bit like a femur, but smaller... maybe from some sort of animal... like a dog. My heart skipped in my chest. She wasn't cheating every night. She was hunting. I remembered the glint in her eyes every time she saw my dog. I always assumed it was adoration. Now I realize it was something else. Hunger. It was the same way she always looked at me. It was the way she was looking at me right now. She stopped sucking on the bone, dropped it to the floor, and lunged at me.
Author's Note:
In the original story, a group of men shipwreck near a city of she-goblins. They use magic to seduce the men into marrying them. Like the men they've married in the past, they planned to kill and eat all of them. One night, a man catches his wife eating one of the previous husbands. He tells his comrades of this and a kind fairy came along to take them from the awful place.
I wanted to turn this into more of a scary story/mystery. I narrowed down the men and she-goblins to one couple so that I could focus more on the details of their marriage and the odd things that happened there. I brought the story to more modern times because I'm more comfortable writing in that setting. I also decided to leave out the random and magical rescuer. I thought it would be more creepy if the husband was all on his own and then left the story pretty open ended.
Bibliography: "The Goblin City" from The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India by W. H. D. Rouse, Web source.
Image Information:
Couple, Source: Pexels
Labrador, Source: Pexels
HAHA omg this is awesome! I did my Week 2 story over the same jataka tale. I really appreciate how you drew the audience into the story right away without any background info about what was happening. I actually had no idea what story I was reading until the part where she was sucking on the bones. Reading your story was very encouraging and I'll be sure to follow up with your story telling! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteCasey, this story was absolutely amazing! While I was reading it, I almost forgot that I was reading a rendition of an Indian epic (I mean that in the best possible way!). From the first sentence, I was completely enthralled. It was really smart to make the story more realistic and applicable to us by turning the characters into humans. If I were you, I would continue to use this strategy because it will make your stories more appealing! Also, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. I like that you kept the ending/resolution a mystery until the end. I wonder if you could even keep stories somewhat a mystery in your project to make readers want to read the next story! You have a talent in elaborating a mysterious plot, so you should use this to your advantage. I got somewhat lost when you were explaining the lost pet signs, but I found my way back. What if you included dialogue of rumors from people in town who had their pets stolen? Their rumors could foreshadow her affinity for animal meat! Anyways, this was a great story! Good job.
ReplyDeleteHey Casey! While reading your story I was really worried for the main character! Primarily because getting married that fast would not work for me. Secondly, because of her weird disappearances during the middle of the night, and it got worse when the animals started to disappear. You managed to make is spooky like you wanted to so congratulations! It made me sad to realize that the main characters dog was probably eating, and having a picture of it made it a more emotional experience. That was a good idea. I wonder how his friend managed to contact him and warn him. In addition, if the main character had doubts of the wife cheating then why did he not confront her about it? Otherwise, if he had, would it have turned out well for him, or would he have been eaten immediately. If the main character had managed to escape, how would his wife reacted? Would he had been chased and hunted down?
ReplyDeleteHello Casey!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredibly creative story! I was eager to finishing the story as soon as I began reading. I think it would help your overall goal if you included dialogue between the paragraphs. I think this would add some noticeable change emphasize diversity in the structural elements of your story. I admire in your Author's Note how you explained your inspiration for the story. I also think it's great how you went above the 1-image requirement and include two. I look forward to reading more of your stories!